Posts tagged effect

What is my value?

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For the last two years I have had prophetic dreams come true in my life & I’ve enjoyed life but on days like today I don’t know or understand what my family & friends value in me.

First of all I’m a late bloomer, I’ve lacked concept of life until now but I’m getting better at it yet I’m also a little vicarious with makes a few people, both family & friends, worry about my choices, actions, & decisions. The people that believe in me have watched me fail at anything I’ve done throughout the course of my life.  You may not admit it but I’ve viewed every avenue I’ve attempted as a failure due to feeling held back by something, fear maybe, criticism, or whatever strange feeling it is.  My only comfort has been professional wrestling which I’m not meant for in ring competition though I’m pretty certain I could wow few audiences if the opportunity to do it comes around. Still everything else, idealized goal, has been short of what I wanted.

The worriers, you all are going to kill me with your worries! I have broad shoulder & know how to carry many loads but you cannot put your insecurity about me & reflect it back on me.  Honestly, it makes me want run farther away than anyone realizes. You can say that’s selfish but to me it’s preservation because I cannot let what I do affect you all. When incidents arise I work my best handle them straight forward as to minimize the effects to only myself & rest of you do no have go through any more than you have to.

Maybe that’s the burden I have to endure because I care too much because other people care too much & have an over abundance of care for me. I just want a balance because if I don’t find it I’m going to choice reckless abandon over common sense. That doesn’t sound good at all.

 

Jonathan.

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Open commentary on the disgruntled custodian

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Below is an incident that occurred at an elementary school last week just a few minutes from where I live.  Currently I work for  this school system and have some open concerns a I want address.  These are my own thoughts that may not reflect those of Kanawaha County Schools.

KANAWHA COUNTY, W.Va. (WSAZ) — A way to thank teachers for their service at Cross Lanes Elementary may have sent a disgruntled employee over the edge, prompting the school to be placed on lock down Thursday

via UPDATE: Janitor Charged with Making Threats after not Getting Gift Card

Let me first state that I do not agree with his actions of making terror threats of attempting to blow up the school & endanger the lives of the children that attend that school, teachers, & other service staff.

What I do agree with are his feelings.  Let me be clear, the above statement in black in white openly says I DO NOT agree with any part of those thoughts, he’s justified in having the feeling of being left out, excluded, or ignored.  Okay, I understand not everyone in life can be a winner but some of the time people & organizations do not recognize the hard working contributions of the service staff employees of the school systems.  Apparently, gift cards were enough to make this custodian snap, he may or may not of had history of flying off the handle.   Still my point is as a person we’re not supposed to exclude others yet I know it happens quite a bit.  Society is tiered.  Poverty, middle class, & wealthy people but this happens at our jobs too.  How many times to service staff miss out because they are considered lesser people?  Remember the Civil War & it fight against slavery it in this country?  Americans fought & died to make a person of color, blacks, free in this country.  Now we’re fighting among ourselves over gift cards.  Has that what disgruntled employee have come down to anymore?

Honestly I don’t know but what I do know is that I want to make people more aware of people & their feelings.  I know many people can relate to being left out & we all cannot be winners.  Still, I want to bring this subject to light that we’re taught from a very young age that were not supposed to segregate people.  Everyone is supposed to be included in when the staff gets rewarded but that isn’t the case.  Sometimes we are shunned like we don’t have even the slightest clue of what is happening in the school.  Show up, do your job, & go home is what were expected to do & yet that all many people find as satisfaction in life.  To me there is more to life than that.  That’s why the I can identify with this custodian & how he felt left out.  Overall my point that I may work for the education system & miss out but don’t forget that we are people too.  That’s the way we want to be treated, like a person regardless of our job title.

Thanks for reading, I’m a custodian, but my title Is “Jonfun” Jonathan Miller.

 

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